


Marreye's Oopsie

by harrysconfetti



Category: Heathers (1988)
Genre: Based on Heathers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:42:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29642505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrysconfetti/pseuds/harrysconfetti
Summary: Harreye and Mouis go over to their manager's house to get back at him for being a dick. They accidentally make a big whoopsie.
Relationships: Harreye Tryles/Mouis Tommo
Kudos: 2





	Marreye's Oopsie

Harreye and Mouis arrive at Neff’s cliffside Malibu mansion. Harreye tries to open the sliding door as quietly as possible. It finally is open and the boys slip inside. They start making their way around the house going towards the kitchen. 

“Ya think he’s home?” Harreye says in a bit of a whisper. 

“He is, trust me. He has no were else to go since Derek is on tour again. Plus I’m 100% sure he was at the bar last night drinking. He must be hungover.” Mouis replies as he grabs Harreye’s hand and walks him over towards the kitchen.

Both of them start opening up cabinets to see what they can find.

“How about we just concoct ourselves a little hangover cure that'll induce him to spew red, white and blue, then..” Mouis starts to say until Harreye cuts him off.

“What about, like, milk and orange juice? What's the up-chuck factor on that?” Harreye says in a bit of a chuckle.

“'I'm a no-rust-build-up man, myself.” Mouis says as he holds up the liquid drain cleaner.

“'Don't be a dick. That stuff'll kill him” Harreye says in a bit of nervousness.

“Mmm.” 

“I know, we can cook up some soup, and put it in a coke. It's, it's pretty sick, eh? Now, should it be ‘chicken-noodle’ or ‘bean with bacon’?”

Mouis pours a thick, blue liquid into a glass. The fumes alone can kill. He looks over at Harreye's own project...

“Will ya put a lid on that stuff? I say we go with big blue here.” Mouis responds while holding up the cup with the deadly liquid.

“What are you talking about? He would never drink anything that looked like that, anyway.”

“'Mmm... So, we'll put it in this…” Mouis starts to put the liquid in a cup that isn’t clear. “'...He won't be able to see what he's drinking…”

“'Just let me get a cup, jerk.” Harreye mumbles as he walks over to the same cabinet where Mouis is at.

Harreye takes down another cup - very similar to Mouis' - and pours out his concoction. Mouis puts the lid on his own creation”

“Okay, milk and orange juice. Mmm…” Harreye says as he turns to face Mouis

Although it does look gross, it occurs to him that its puke factor may not be high enough. After all, if the Alcohol didn't make Neff sick...

“..maybe we could cough up a phlegm globber or something.” Harreye continues

“Mmm…”

They try to gather up, but can't. (You need at least five years of smoking experience to bulk phlegmize on demand...)

“'Oh well, milk and orange juice will do quite nicely.” 

“You chicken!” Mouis says referencing his own cup.

“You're not funny.” Harreye says a bit annoyed.

“I’m sorry” Mouis responds approaching for a kiss

They kiss, and, while disengaging and distracted, Harreye picks up the 'wrong' cup. Mouis notices, as Harreye proceeds up the stairs.

“Uhh...babe?” Mouis says a bit worried.

“Hm?”

“'Ah.. never mind. I'll.. uh... I'll carry the cup.” Mouis says with a bit of hesitation.

They both start to make their way to Neff’s bedroom. They finally get to the big wooden doors, or as they like to call them: “The Gates of Hell”. They proceed inside the room to see a sleeping Neffery Lazoff.

“Morning Neff.” Harreye silvery says.

Neff slowly starts to awake from his nice little slumber. 

“Harreye... and Mouis. Quelle surprise.. Did you hear about Harreye's affection for regurgitation?'

“Neff, I think last night we both said a lot of things we didn't mean.” Harreye appealingly says.

“Did we?” Neff says sarcastically. “How the hell did you get in here?”

“Uh...we knew you'd have a hangover, so I whipped this up for ya. It's a family recipe.' Mouis says with amuse as he offers the cup.

“What did you do, put a phlegm globber in it or something? I'm not gonna drink that piss” Neff coldly says.

“I knew this stuff'd be too intense for him” Mouis starts as he turns towards Harreye.'

“‘Intense..’ Grow up. You think I'll drink it just because you call me chicken?” Neff says as his bitch drive is warming up.

Mouis sort of smiles and sort of shrugs. Neff gets up and approaches him.

“Just give me the cup, jerk.” Neff gratingly says.

Neff gives him a sour look, and then downs the contents... Immediately, he's choking and gasping - convulsing, as he staggers toward a glass coffee table, where, gasping his last, Neff utters his last earthly words:

_ 'You sons of bitches” _

And with that he falls forward - slamming through the glass in a myriad of glinting splinters...

Harreye and Mouis gape at the crash site. A few moments of silence pass as they stare at their manager’s lifeless body. 

“Oh my God! I can't believe it.. I just killed my manager.” Harreye breathily says.

“'And your worst enemy.” Mouis points out.

“Same difference…”

Harreye sits down at Neff's regal dressing table. He's dizzy.

“...Ohhh..” Harreye says in a bit of shock

“What're we gonna tell the cops? ‘Fuck it if he can't take a joke, Sarg?’” Mouis says in a bit of a worried tone.

“..the cops... I can't believe this is my life... Oh my God. What am I gonna do? What are we gonna do? What’s gonna happen. What will we tell the boys?.”

Mouis in a bit of shock trying to gather his thoughts says “Ah... right.. I'm just a little freaked here…” He pauses to think for a moment then continues “...Well at least we got what we wanted... y'know?”

“Got what we wanted? It is one thing to want somebody out of your life, it is another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.”

They further absorb the horror..

“All right... Now, we did a murder, and that's a crime... But, if this were like a suicide thing…”

“Like a suicide thing?” Harreye says in confusion.

“Yeah. I mean, you can do Neff's handwriting as well as your own, right? Right?”

Harreye gets the idea. He takes paper from a drawer and starts to write, reading as he goes:

“‘You might think what I've done is shocking...'”

Mouis joins in and says “'...to me, though, suicide is the logical answer to the myriad of problems life has given me.'

“'That's good, but Neff would never use the word ‘myriad’.”

“This is the last thing he'll ever write - he'll want to cash in on as many fifty cent words as possible.”

“Yeah, but that word isn’t really the Neff we know, you know?”

“'It only proves my point more. The word is a badge for his failures in life.”

“Oh... Okay.. you're probably right, um..”

He continues writing, reading as he goes:

“...’people think that just because you're rich and powerful, life is easy and fun. No one understood, I had feelings too’...'

Mouis joins in once more “‘I die knowing no one knew the real me...'”

“It's good... Have you done this before?” Harreye looks up and smiles at Mouis.

“No” Mouis chuckles and leans down to kiss his boyfriend.


End file.
